March, 2017 – The Fatherless
“Not everyone can say (it), but I count myself lucky to have a birth mother who loved me enough to know she wasn’t ready to be a mom. I’m lucky that I have wonderful parents who chose me. I often say adoption is a full-circle blessing and I truly believe it. Adopted children were not abandoned, we were chosen. – Kristen Chenoweth
When I read that statement by Miss Chenoweth, so many thoughts swirled around in my mind. First of all, how very happy I am for her – and that it worked out so well for her. She truly was blessed to be wanted by a loving family – to be chosen. But, of course you know where my mind went next.
What about all those precious ones who never get adopted? What about all the disposable, throw-away, unwanted, unloved ones whose lives could have been so different? What about all those little ones in orphanages not only in Romania, but around the world who at only a few weeks, even days-old learn not to cry – because if they do, they know that no one will come.
There will be no loving mother – not even a busy mother to hush the baby – nor a Day Caregiver to tend to the needs of that fading little human being. Instead, their lot in life is to lie so still and learn not to express any kind of dissatisfaction. A murmur of complaint could bring a swift back hand across their little face. They have had to learn to endure a hungry stomach, a sore bottom that rarely has a diaper change, and worst of all, no recognition of being a human being.
Recently, I spent a couple of weeks with one of my sons and his family. As I helped take care of a little two and a half year-old, and a five month-old, my mind was constantly contrasting the difference between their treasured little lives, and the lives of the Romanian orphans the Lord put in my life nearly seventeen years ago.
Liam at two and a half says a new word almost every day. And when he is hungry, he is free to ask for nourishment. When he is hurt from tripping over one of his toys, he can take his tears to his Mommy or Daddy knowing that he will be held and cuddled until it’s better. He actually asks for a bath – because he knows that that is going to be a time of fun and play – a family time! He is rocked and told a story before bedtime – and goes to sleep securely because he knows he is loved.
And then I watched the love and care Baby Jace was given by his Mom and Dad (and me!), :) – so gently held and touched, fed and loved with every need in his five month-old life met in minutes, if not seconds. He wakes up smiling and reaching his little arms up because he knows he is loved and is going to be taken care of. His bath time is sweet. His round little body handled so gently with the utmost love and care.
Now compare all of that with hundreds of thousands of little souls around the world who have no idea that other children live in what they would call ‘heaven’. ‘My’ babies at the orphanage where Love From Above has invested time, money and love over the past many years have no idea that other babies can cry and someone will tend to their need. They have no idea that they get to eat all they want – no idea that there is a loving parent who spends time with them, talks with them, plays with them, and cares deeply for them. They don’t know that bath time should be fun, and that they really shouldn’t be carried naked by one leg to a tiled area and then hosed down like an animal. They don’t know that a loving mother always tests the temperature of a bottle making sure the formula is just at the right temp – that a little one should never have to shake with every bit of strength that is in their body after taking a scalding gulp.
I have read medical reports that say if a new baby is not held and loved, spoken to, made eye contact with, or has had loving physical contact, that the brain will not develop properly. I read that first the grey matter begins to die, and then the white matter resulting in the physical body not developing as it should. Not only is there not a new word learned practically every day, speech never develops properly, or at all. But – precious little orphans don’t have any idea that most children in the world do develop normally – that other children can walk and talk, and jump and run. I really don’t think that they can think about it much at all in their mentally-challenged state. But if they could, I am sure they would wonder why their life consists of only one activity – lying on their backs from the time they are born until the Lord takes them ‘Home’.
Often, I look at these little ones and think – ‘I wonder what God intended you to look like? What did He intend for you to do with your life?’ I wait the day when I see them running and jumping on ‘streets of gold’, laughing and circling the Savior saying, “I knew You would come for us! Mama Dawn told us so. She told us that there was Someone Who loved us more than we could ever imagine – Who cried with us in our pathetic and inhumane state on earth, and that someday we would be in a painless, cruel-less, tearless place of perfection. Thank You, Jesus for not forgetting about us, nor forsaking us. Thank You for sending ministering angels to us until we could see you. Multumesc, Iisus. Multumesc, frumos! Te iubesc!” (Thank You, Jesus. Thank You so much! I love You!)
‘Lord, You know the hopes of the helpless. Surely You will hear their cries and comfort them. You will bring justice to the orphans and the oppressed, so mere people can no longer terrify them.’ – Psalm 10:17-18