October, 2024 – My Life Was Over as I Knew it…

Every morning of our lives when we rise, we never know what that day will hold for us.  But generally, we don’t think about that.  In August, 2020, I was doing a simple leg exercise and in injuring my back incurred acute scream-crying pain just to get up off my bed.  To get to the bathroom, I would crawl bent over hanging onto the bed.  It would be nearly three months before I could walk fairly normally again.  My chiropractor had said that he couldn’t help me and suggested that I get an MRI.  I did that and was given painkillers which I refused to take.  I was able to get to Physical Therapy – walking into their office with the like-posture of drawings we have seen of the Cro-Magnons.  By the way, no one knew that this had happened to me because it was during the height of covid.  I knew that everyone was stressed, sick, or dying from the pandemic and I certainly didn’t want to add to their concern.  Beyond the acute physical pain with the injury, I was in even greater emotional pain, and I literally mourned thinking that ‘my life was over as I knew it’.  I would never heal – never be able to get back to God’s ‘assignment’ for me with the ‘least of these’ in Romania.  But, ultimately, the physical therapists (I think of them as ‘miracle workers’) got me back to walking upright – and with continued exercises on my own, able to do so with relatively little pain.

In 2022, I injured – an already injured knee from high school – on a piece of metal on the back of a seat while disembarking a plane in Frankfurt, Germany.  I saw ‘lights’, wanted to scream, once again in acute pain all the while others were pushing me aside so they could get off the plane and make their connecting flights.  How I ever made it off that plane and onto my next flight to Boston, I honestly can’t remember.  I was in shock!  Once again, I just knew that ‘my life was over as I knew it’ –- sinking into a very ‘dark place’.  That mood would only become exacerbated by the passing of my beautiful, blondie, blue-eyed sister.  Eventually, I was able to get an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon for a knee arthroscopy and entered physical therapy, once again.  Before the knee had the opportunity to heal well, I was scheduled to head back to Romania taking with me the exercises I had learned and doing them on my own.  The stress on the knee traveling, including a trip to the Ukrainian border to minister to the wives and their children who had escaped their war-torn country was overwhelming.  In three months back in Massachusetts, I once again entered physical therapy.  And once again, thankfully, the therapists proved themselves to be ‘miracle workers’.

In July, 2024, I was involved in an accident in Romania where not only my car was totaled, but the impact was so great, I couldn’t believe I was alive!  I know that sounds strange, but it was that impactful (no pun intended).  I was not only still alive, but I really had no serious injuries except for the airbag leaving me with soreness.  And, neither were the passengers in the other car bodily harmed.  However, the emotional damage was great!  And again, I just knew that ‘my life was over as I knew it’.  Without a car which would make it impossible to do ministry, and with the emotional blow of the accident, I ‘knew’ that I would never be able to drive again.  No physical therapy would help this situation.  I had no recourse but to turn to my Wonderful Counselor.  And this time – even in such a time of distress, I found myself praising our Lord, God Almighty.  There was so much to praise Him for!

Never to compare myself with Job, but I do remember that in recounting his story, he wept over his circumstances/his trials from ‘the enemy’ – and then he worshipped.  Ultimately, I became aware of myself (in life’s unwelcome trials) weeping first – and then finding praise for our Almighty God.  Job didn’t know why he was going through his (infinitely worse) trials.  I’ve not known either concerning my own.  But I learned a lot several years ago when I taught four sessions at a Women’s Conference on ‘The Principle of Praise’.  It’s what works!!  Jehoshaphat found that out as a directive from God in II Chronicles 20:18-22.  I found it out for the first time while in labor with my second son!!  With each contraction, I lifted my voice in praise.  The pain subsided.  Really!  It’s been an invaluable lesson to me through the years.  No matter the physical pain, and even worse, the emotional pain, I hear God’s words in II Chronicles 20: 21,22 – “When (Jehoshaphat) had consulted with the people, he appointed those who sang to the Lord and those who praised Him . . .  as they went out before the army and said, ‘Give thanks to the Lord, for His faithfulness is everlasting.’  When they began singing and praising, the LORD set ambushes against  . . . “

So many times, words earlier in that same chapter have rung loudly, clearly, peacefully in my head and heart – “the Lord says to you,”  ‘Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude (your great time of distress), for the battle is not yours, but God’s.’”  I don’t mean to oversimplify this ‘principle of praise’, but from such amazing Biblical knowledge and teaching, I know it works!  God’s principle worked when I was holed up with 600,000 other people in a terrorist attack at Heathrow in 2006 – when my life was threatened by an imbalanced individual – when I thought one of my sons at twelve years old was dying – when . . .  when . . .   when . . .    I could fill this page with all the times when I thought ‘my life was over as I knew it’ that God let me know that He was ‘there’ – that these battles were not mine, but His!  I just had to remember to praise Him!