“The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses His people with peace.”  – Psalm 29.11

God’s plan for us – is peace.  At times, reality – is depression. Or fear. Confusion. Hopelessness. Guilt.  Non-clarity of thought.  Prolonged or severe emotional stress.  Uselessness or no purpose in life.  Physical illness, bringing on much of what has just been mentioned.  Add your own ‘opposite of peace’.  From time to time, I struggle with depression which can bring a plethora of those symptoms or feelings with it. I know that for every problem, there is a root problem.  Therein lies my problem.  I can never seem to figure out what the root is.

Several years ago when my three boys were young, we were invited to attend a presentation of a Christmas Cantata at my aunt and uncle’s church.  I was also asked to play Christmas music on the piano before and after the service, and for the offertory.  The church was about an hour and a half drive from where we lived in Massachusetts.  All the way there, whiter-than-white snow just glistened under the moon’s light, the street lights, and lights from businesses in more highly populated areas.  We experienced the ‘beauty of God’s earth’ in just getting to our destination.

  Part I

I remember being five years old and watching our church burn flat on the crossroads of Routes 1 and 6 in the backwoods of Maine.  An oil truck had stopped on the corner, and for whatever reason, exploded.  It was miraculous that no one, not even the driver was harmed, but our church was ablaze in seconds – gone.  I heard later that as devastating as it was to see this happen, that it probably was divine intervention from God.  The older men said that the church was so old that it was a real possibility that it could have collapsed on its own, and if it had happened on a Sunday, taken lives with it.  That was one of my earliest lessons in trusting God in all things.

In my study in the Psalms – I mean, a verse-by-verse study of the Psalms (it has been three months and I’m only up to chapter 20) – I have been impressed with how overwhelmingly impressed the Psalmist David was of God’s strength and might and power.  And how many times he refers to Him as his Rock.  When I think of all the rocks I have ever seen, there is a particularly unique one in Red Beach, Maine.  It is in an area where my boys (when they were young), and I referred to as ‘the Rocks’.  We loved going to this place, having a picnic and then climbing down the cliff to the shore which was completely covered with Rubik Cube-sized rocks.  No nice sandy beach at this place.  We walked those rocks all day, collecting ‘washed glass’ (beach glass) – looking for crabs, jellyfish and other sea fauna that had washed in with the tide.

For the past several years, the word ‘community’ has become ketchy – a buzz word.  To me, it has become annoying.  Let me explain.  First of all, I’ll give two dictionary definitions of ‘community’ –

The following is taken from a page in my journal – July 24, 2018, to be exact:

“Struggling, Lord!  REALLY struggling!!  I’ve seen the plaques/signs at various shops saying – “I can’t do adult today.”  Well, Lord – went through most of my morning saying – “I can’t do ‘Christian’ today; I can’t do ‘life’ today!”  I feel as though my life is being choked out of me.  I feel as though I am held down on my back with hands around my neck trying to choke me to death spiritually and emotionally.  I sense the ‘enemy’ Heimlich maneuvering me until he squeezes every bit of life – every bit of the Holy Spirit out of me – spewed out on the ground.”

Remember the words ‘feed me till I want no more’ from the old hymn, Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah?  Even though I haven’t heard that hymn in years, it has been playing and playing through my head this morning!  So, as I was thinking of returning to my beloved Romania, the reality of my not receiving the ‘feeding’ in the very ‘dark’ culture of Romania that I do in the States reminded me of the steps I have to take to protect myself, spiritually.

Recently, I had the most wonderful experience of gathering together my whole family for my youngest son’s 40^th birthday.  Several years ago, all my sons and two of their wives, at the time, and one fiancée were all together in my home for a holiday.  But since all have married and given me six grandchildren, we had never been together as a family.  Some of the grandchildren had never even seen each other before.  We got to spend three glorious days in a beach house right on the beach in Destin, FL.  When Liam, my four year-old grandson who had never even seen his Georgia-cousins before, saw us all hauling our suitcases into the same place, and realized that all fourteen of us would be staying together in the same house, he was overwhelmed.  He looked around, and filled with excitement and joy he exclaimed, “Look Mammie, we are all going to sleep together!  Isn’t that crazy?!”  And I answered him, “Crazy – wonderful!”  He squealed, “Yes!” – and ran to give me a hug.

It is common knowledge that one out of every three children in Romania is born with a birth defect.  There are at least three main reasons for this.  First of all, the mothers’ lack of nutrition.  It would be extremely improbable for any woman to birth a healthy baby if she subsisted on a piece of bread every other day, or a potato every other day.  Many of the babies that we see come into our ‘baby’ orphanage, have a disease called opisthotonos (spasm of the muscles causing backward arching of the head, neck, and spine).  There are many causes of opisthotonos, but lack of Vitamin B is one.  There are many babies brought to the orphanage severely underweight and struggling just to live from the mother’s long-term lack of nutrition.

Several years ago as I was entering church one Sunday morning, one of our young fellows who has a developmental disorder, looked at me and said quietly, “My favorite day of the week is Sunday.”  I smiled at him and said, “Mine, too”.  And beyond that, I have to say that my favorite Sunday of the whole year is Easter – Resurrection Day!